Finally, the All-Time Cartoon Football Team (Again)

Due to a special request from a Handshake Fan overseas (England as a matter of fact), we're re-running this blog. Seems it was a big hit with the Brits when originally posted awhile back. Anyway, here 'tis, just for the Limeys:

And isn’t it about time? I mean really? Admit it, as soon as you read that title you were intrigued. Seriously, once this idea popped into my melon I knew I had a winner. It’s a blog that’s sure to illicit opinion, debate, even outrage. I can hear it now:

“How DARE you leave out Daffy Duck! He would have made a great wide receiver! Plus, nobody could take a hit like that guy!”

I really only had one rule when putting this all-star squad together, and that rule was this - No Superheroes. It would have been way to easy to put Superman at quarterback, Flash at running back, then stick The Incredible Hulk at linebacker and call it a day. No, I leave easy posts like that to the likes of DJ.

And so, without further ado, I give you my All-Time Cartoon football team. Feel free to throw in your opinions in the comments section under the blog. As always, I’ll ignore them completely.

Huggs Pensive After Loss

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. – Bob Huggins was in a reflective mood Monday night during his postgame radio show following West Virginia’s 73-62 loss to Connecticut in Hartford. The defeat at UConn all but eliminated the Mountaineers from Big East title contention.

West Virginia coach Bob Huggins talked about the great pride West Virginians have in their sports teams.

Sometimes talking in a whisper, Huggins was disappointed in the way his team played, he was upset with the way the game was officiated, and he was apologetic to the people of the state for his team letting another great opportunity slip through their hands.

Recent close losses to Villanova, Pitt and Connecticut have begun to tug at his heart.

“I just told (the players) in there, ‘I don’t know if they have any idea how much (you) mean to this state and how much this state rallies around (you),’” said Huggins. “I told them this, ‘You have very few times in your life when you are special – very, very few. A lot of people never have a chance to be special.’ This group, maybe could have, should have or would have … if we close a couple of games out against some pretty good teams then we’re probably top five in the country.”

Huggins drew comparisons between the rabid interest West Virginians have for their teams to some of the other places he’s been or has seen.

“Very few people have the opportunity to be special and particularly in a place like West Virginia. Pitt has had great basketball, but they are not the Steelers. Cincinnati had great basketball when I was there, but we were not the Reds,” Huggins said. “Mountaineer football and basketball are West Virginia’s pride. We had a chance to be special and represent this state and bring so much pride and joy.”

Huggins recalled the great disappointment he had to endure watching Kenyon Martin’s college career come crashing down in the 2000 Conference USA tournament. Martin had turned down millions to return to Cincinnati for his senior season to try and win a national championship for the Bearcats.

“I had the best team in the country and it wasn’t even close. I had pros everywhere,” said Huggins. “I had the best player in the country. He came into my office in the spring and he said, ‘Huggs, what should I do?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, man, let me find out.’ So I found out that he was going to go between 18 and 21 in the draft.

“So I called him back in and he comes in and I asked him before I got into this deal, ‘What do you want to do?’ He looked at me and he said, ‘I want to win the national championship.’ He said, ‘Coach, you talked about being special and I want to win the national championship.’ He got a tear running down his cheek. I said, ‘Kenyon, I think you answered your own question,’” Huggins said.

Cincinnati was well on the way to doing that, spending almost the entire regular season No. 1 in the polls. Then Martin got his leg rolled by a St. Louis player in the Conference USA tournament quarterfinals.

“When he broke his leg I’m out on the floor and he’s hugging me and he’s crying on my shoulder,” said Huggins. “He never said one word about, ‘Oh man, there goes my pro career. Oh man, look at the money I might have lost.’ He said, ‘Man, I’m not going to be able to win the national championship. Why Huggs? Why? Why did this happen? I just wanted to win the national championship and be special.’ There was a guy who was the No. 1 pick in the draft and maybe could have been done.”

Huggins said Martin was single minded in his purpose and focus.

Who are the hardest players to place?

Every off-season, NFL scouts are all over the country finding new talent, and watching old talent. They are looking for that diamond in the rough, the guy that they can draft in the 6th round and turn into a star. Some teams reach for players, while other teams pass on players that seem to be too talented to drop, and for unknown reasons. Most notably, in the 2003 NFL Draft the Cleveland Browns selected a linebacker out of a win-less West Texas A&M school in the 2nd round, despite the fact that he was rated as a 6th-7th round prospect at best. On the flip side, the 2005 NFL Draft featured former Michigan standout Ernest Shazor who some believed would be a 2nd round pick, only to watch him not be drafted and sign as an Un-Drafted Free Agent with the Cardinals. You can see that it's hard to place some players, and each player has their reasoning. So who are the hardest players to place in this year draft?

The Shake's New Tournament - My Observations

The Inside Handshake began a new tournament yesterday, and I must say we may have hit rock bottom with this one. Or maybe not. Depends on your outlook I guess. Some may think it's tastless and without merit, others may think it's harmless fun. Anyway, I consulted my top lieutenants here at Handshake HQ (DJ and SuperVesey) and with them being tasteless and without merit themselves, they were all for it. So, I proceeded thusly.

(ED. note: I always wanted to write "I proceeded thusly." Another checkmark for my bucket list.)

OK, where was I? Oh yeah, the tournament. It got me to thinking. And so, without further ado, my random musings on our fictional and short-titled "What College Basketball Coach Would Win a No-Holds-Barred Alley Fight" Tournament for the ages.

First off, some questions. Who would advance and who would get coldcocked early? Would Rick Pitino fight like a girl? Would Bill Self's hairpiece get knocked off? Would Tubby Smith's eyes pop out of his head?  So many questions. Let's proceed with a look at some of the contestants.

Mick Cronin. Trust me when I say a lot of guys would be hoping for a shot at Micky C. I can picture Huggs holding his hand on top of Mick's head as he swung wildly like they do in the cartoons or Three Stooges movies. Classic. An added bonus would be if Mick pissed his pants.

Coach K. I can visualize Coach K trying to reason with Jim Calhoun, you know, trying to rise above the mindless violence, reminding him that they're not animals but human beings who can discuss things like gentlemen. All this right before Calhoun drops him like a bad habit with a vicious uppercut. Awesome.

Billy Donovan. I got a feeling Billy might be a bit of a badass. He certainly looks as if he's wound a little tight, ya know? I could see him and Tom Izzo going at it like a couple of Chihuahua's in Vick's family room. Trouble is I can also see the winner advancing to face Frank Martin and getting beaten like a crack baby in foster care.

Gary Williams. I know for a fact that Gary W is not a man to be messed with. There's a well-told story out of College Park involving Gary and former player Obinna Ekezie. Ekezie was a 20-year old, 6'-10", 275 pound center from Nigeria, and Gary was 56-years old, stood about 5'-9" and probably weighed 160 pounds. Anyway, as the story goes, at a practice Ekezie mouthed off to the coach, things escalated, and pretty soon they were nose-to-nose. Everyone in Cole Field House thought they were about to throw down. I asked a couple people that witnessed this how many of them thought Gary was going to get his ass kicked. The answer? "Nobody." Nobody there doubted who would win that fight. Dude's wrapped so tight you couldn't pull a needle out of his ass with a backhoe.

John Calipari. Seriously, does anybody think this cat can fight? He'd turn tail so fast he'd leave his hair gel in a puddle behind him.

Bruce Pearl. Again, trust me when I say a lot of coaches would like a shot at this guy (see Mick Cronin). He's a media darling but most coaches think he's a camera whore quote machine. I'd love to see Jamie Dixon get a shot at this wackbag in a street fight. Or better yet? Pat Summitt. Now we're talkin'.

Bo Ryan. Don't you think Bo Ryan would be a hard guy to put away? Seems like he'd just keep coming at ya, head down and charging like the Tazmanian Devil on a coke binge.

Thad Matta. I've no idea if this guy can fight or not, but I'm pretty sure he's taken some shots to the schnozzola already. If we ever have an "Ugliest Coach" tournament I know who my money's on.

And finally, Frank Martin. I've gotta say it. Frank Martin looks like an international incident waiting to happen, like a guy who'd kick a  baby if it looked at him the wrong way. Dude is flat crazy. Amirite or amirite? Visual evidence above.

Thought: Do you think coaches would fight like they coach? I mean, would Boeheim sit back in a zone, inviting guys to step in, only to pop them in the kisser? Would Huggs aggressively attack the perimeter? Would Gary Williams scream at you the whole time he was slapping you silly? Would John Beilein launch wild swings like 3's from everywhere? Would Coach K get all the calls and have an unfair advantage? Would Pitino screw your girlfriend after the fight? Sorry, I couldn't help myself on that last one.

Sidenote: I actually tried to upload three Frank Martin pictures to this blog before I found one that would work. That guy is tenacious.

Jason Whitlock Ranks the Top 10 NFL QBs of All-Time. Discuss.

Jason Whitlock is one of my favorite sportswriters. Here he ranks the Top 10 quarterbacks in NFL history. Good stuff indeed, and great debate fodder.

Here are the 10 greatest QBs of all time:

1. John Elway: Tremendous athleticism. He was Vince Young, except he could throw it accurately to any place on the field. Defensive coordinators and safeties feared his long arm so much that running backs Gaston Green, Bobby Humphrey and Sammy Winder all earned Pro Bowl berths taking handoffs from Elway. But the myth is Elway benefitted from Terrell Davis and Davis didn't benefit from Elway. Elway made the Broncos relevant and dangerous for 16 straight years.

2. Joe Montana: In 10 seasons as a full-time starter in San Francisco, Montana won four Super Bowls, three SB MVPs and two AP league MVPs. He finishes No. 2 because he's not as big, strong and athletic as Elway. Montana excelled in a rhythm and timing passing game. How would he perform in the era when DBs were actually allowed to defend receivers?

3. Johnny Unitas: On this, I defer to the old-timers who swear Mr. Unitas was as good as the modern QBs. He tossed 32 touchdowns in 1959! He led 34 fourth-quarter comebacks, which is second-best all time. He was MVP of the league three times and first-team all-pro five times. He dominated and defined the position throughout the 1960s.

Matta in Favor of NCAA Tourney Expansion.

You can never have too much of a good thing. Just ask the NCAA.

Although the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is one of the more popular sporting events in the country, coaches, school presidents and athletic directors from around the nation met last week to discuss a possible change. The discussions focused on a potential increase of the tournament from 65 to as many as 96 teams.

A final decision was not made, nor is it expected to be anytime soon.

The possible expansion has received mixed reviews throughout the country, but Ohio State coach Thad Matta said he loves the idea.

“I think it would be excellent, I really do,” Matta said. “I think that you look at what used to be 16 [teams] and then I think they took it to 24 then to 32, 48 and 64. I think that that would be a great thing.”

Some speculate that the longer list of tournament invitees would give teams from mid-major conferences a better chance to play in the postseason. It is possible that the extra round could serve as a play-in round for smaller schools that would otherwise be denied the opportunity.

Others, however, suggest that the extra round would be filled with more teams from the power conferences, such as the Big Ten. It is thought that teams that finish at or near .500 in their conference could get the nod over the smaller schools to fill the additional spots.

Matta made it very clear which side of the argument he supports.

“I’d say the Big Ten,” Matta said when asked whether he’d like to see teams from his own conference or mid-major conferences make the tournament. “I know this [conference] is hard. I know what it takes to go through a stretch like we do of 18 Big Ten games.”

One concern Matta did express with the expansion was a potential decreased interest in the regular season — games that the coach said are what makes college basketball so great.

“The greatest thing I ever heard was from John Wooden and he said, ‘People put too much emphasis on the last game of the year,’” Matta said. “There is so much excitement along the way and I think that we lose the sight of what’s happening now as it’s all geared toward getting into the NCAA Tournament. There is so much great basketball to be played in the month of February and even in early March.”

A possible solution to Matta’s problem would be an increase in high-profile, out-of-conference matchups, a change that he said would be rather easy.

“[A larger tournament] allows you to be a little more risky in your non-conference schedule,” he said. “We’ve [played] Tennessee, we’ve done Florida and we’ve done LSU, but you can get out and do those things a little bit better and know that you’re going to be rewarded.”

Even given his concern, Matta was clear that he felt an expanded tournament would be in the best interest of college basketball. There are some, like OSU junior David Lighty, who see the situation a little differently.

Lighty doesn’t see a need for a change, but unlike his coach who seemed concerned about bettering the entire sport, his opinion was based on more selfish reasoning.

“I like it how it is,” Lighty said. “As long as we’re in it.”

This article was taken from OSU's student newspaper, The Lantern.

Butler's 33 Powers Moutaineers past St. John's

After hitting the snooze button in the first half, sixth-ranked West Virginia outscored St. John’s 57-27 in the second half to run away with a 79-60 victory over the Red Storm Saturday afternoon at Madison Square Garden in New Your City.

Da'Sean Butler's season-high 33 points helped West Virginia to a 79-60 win at St. John's Saturday at Madison Square Garden.

Even Bob Huggins was a little disoriented, discovering before the game that he had forgotten to pack his pants.

“I went in and I kind of jokingly said (after the game) that we were awful the first half and it was my fault because I forgot my pants,” Huggins said. “Of course Da’Sean (Butler) being Da’Sean, he can’t wait to say, ‘Well, you’ve got to wear that now until we lose. Isn’t that why you wear what you wear until we lose?’”

Butler certainly wore out St. John’s, hitting seven of seven from 3-point distance to tie a Big East record and scoring a season-high 33 points in front of friends and family. Butler has been on a scoring binge of late, producing 27 points last Saturday against Louisville and adding 18 earlier this week against Pitt.

Huggins said everyone was looking for Butler on Saturday against St. John’s.

“We ran a couple of sets for him and actually changed some things that we usually run for our guards and we ran them for him in the second half, just kind hoping he would make a couple and get it going,” Huggins said.

St. John’s (12-10, 2-8) actually led by 16 early in the second half before the roof caved in. The Red Storm made just three baskets during a seven-minute stretch that saw the Mountaineers go on a 26-7 run.

Butler and Wellington Smith scored 16 of West Virginia’s 26 points during the run.

“Da’Sean has such a great will to win and he really shot the ball well,” said Huggins. “He was terrific, but Wells really helped us get back in it with some big, big shots and then we got it going a little bit.”

Who Dey vs. Who Dat?

The most grammatically incorrect pissing contest I can recall seems to have no clear-cut victor. Both Cincinnati Bengals & New Orleans Saints fans, as long as they stay geographically huddled & clustered, should be able to maintain their claim as to who started the "Who Dey" or "Who Dat" cheer at their respective games. Below is the most concise, easy to understand explanation I've found that leaves bias at the door. Now I, being biased as hell, maintain that the only people sitting at at a New Orleans Aints game pre-1983 screaming "Who Dat?" would have been the clowns that used to wear grocery sacks over their heads in the stands, getting groped by their drunken buddy/daddy/bubby. Plus, Hudepohl used to sell Hu-Dey Beer in Cincinnati even before 1983...so there, how cool is that? (Hightower will be dropping by for lunch from Louisiana tomorrow, BTW. I will not be leaving my plate unattended, so as not to have my Buffalo Wings molested.)

Here's the take from the December 14, 2006 New York Times:

Who Dey vs. Who Dat

By TONI MONKOVIC

Which came first, the dey or the dat?

I’m referring to the cheers:“Who dey! Who dey! Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?!”and“Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say gonna beat dem Saints?!”

In the print version of the Fifth Down yesterday, I wrote that Saints fans started to use the “who dat” phrase in the late 1970s. A reader wrote that Saints fans didn’t start saying that until 1983. When I did some additional research, I realized I was wading into a murky area — a linguistic and intercity squabble.
From reading message boards for each team, it’s clear that Bengals fans and Saints fans want to believe they came up with the idea first. (If anyone thinks they have definitive proof, feel free to send it along in the comments section below.)

It reminds me of the spat over the Seahawks’ use of the phrase “the 12th man.” Texas A&M got its knickers into a twist because it had copyrighted the term. The matter almost went to court before the two parties settled.

Many Bengals fans reject theories that a variation of the saying started in New Orleans instead of Cincinnati. Wikipedia gives a possible source for the chant:

A 1980 commercial for Red Frazier Ford of Cincinnati, which used this tagline: “Who’s going to give you a better deal than Red Frazier? Nobody!” Cincinnati fans who had seen the commercial many times may have just copied it when cheering.

This is how answers.com explains the origins of the terms:

Who Dey

Although the exact origin of the phrase is disputed, it had been made popular by 1981 in Bengals fans’ cheers for their team during their run to Super Bowl XVI. Some fans would do the chant and other fans would reply, “Nobody!” The cheer again gained national recognition in their 1988 appearance in Super Bowl XXIII. Due to the success of the Bengals team in the 2005 season, the chant is again gaining popularity. Different theories of the origin of the chant exist.

Who Dat

The chant of “Who dat? Who dat say they gonna beat dem - - ” originated in minstrel shows and vaudeville acts in the late 1800s and early 1900s, then was taken up by jazz and big band folks in the 1920s and 1930s, became a familiar joke among soldiers in World War II, was used in early TV skits in the 1950s, then was adapted by Southern University and the public schools in New Orleans in the 1960s and 1970s and finally was adopted by Saints fans and the Saints in the late 1970’s.

So after looking into it, here’s what we think we know: The phrase was widely used by Bengals fans in 1981.The phrase was widely used by Saints fans in 1983.A variation of the phrase was used by some Louisiana high schools and colleges in the 1970s and seems to have been used by some Saints fans in the late 1970s (probably a small number, and possibly a very small number). Is it possible that it was then copied and adapted by Bengals fans? Not clear. Did the popularity of the Bengals’ chant in 1981 lead to the wider adoption of the Saints’ saying in 1983? This seems likely, but also is not clear.

I know this is probably more than you want to know about the subject, but just think: A Saints-Bengals Super Bowl is not an impossibility, especially with Cincinnati’s recent surge. You’ll be an expert on a topic that could be a time-killer for an entire week before the Super Bowl (that would still leave us with a week to go).

Love and Basketball at The Ohio State University

According to Ohio State's student newspaper, The Lantern, Evan Turner's in love. Good for him.

It truly is love and basketball.

Ohio State point guards Samantha Prahalis and Evan Turner are what many would call, “Facebook official.”

Sure, Turner could talk basketball all day, but it doesn’t compare to the illuminating smile he flashed when asked about his relationship with Prahalis. It’s likely the only interview that has made him blush.

Both sporting No. 21 on their jerseys, they have more in common than meets the eye.

Prahalis and Turner came to OSU from more than 350 miles away — New York and Chicago respectively — but each calls the Schottenstein Center home.

Turner said they met while hanging around the Schott together.

Between practices, lifting, films, press conferences and classes it would seem that there’s no time for a relationship, but despite their hectic schedule they find time to spend with one another.

“We see each other after practice mostly,” Prahalis said. “We go to the movies and stuff. It gets hard but we make it work.”

As if they are on the same wavelength, Turner echoed that they usually find time to hang out after practice.

They also find time to watch one another play, or at least they think.

Senior Bowl Risers/Fallers

Risers

Offense

Jeremy Williams, WR, Tulane- Despite not having the ideal size and speed combination, Williams made the most of his Senior Bowl opportunity. Starting with 1 on 1 drills on Tuesday’s first full pads practice, he showed his ability to get in and out of his cuts, and separate from the defensive back. He also showed an excellent ability to come back for the ball, rather than letting it come right to him. Following a solid week of practice, he caught 6 balls for 82 yards, while also having a 27 yard scamper on the ground. Again, because he’s not extremely fast, he could slip into the 3rd round, but he’s a guy that could step into a team right away and get quality playing time.

Dexter McCluster, RB/WR, Ole Miss- 3 carries for -1 yards in the Senior Bowl doesn’t keep me from thinking that McCluster helped his stock immensely this week. He showed more promise in the passing game than anything, pulling a nice double move on Javier Arenas and making a diving catch. Also, on Tuesday he had a great quick slant, in which Arenas was burned. He caught 3 balls for 30 yards in the Senior Bowl, while also having a costly fumble, but the important thing is that he showed his versatility even more. You can put him in the slot, in the backfield, or returning kicks, and he’s going to produce, which is why I think he’s going to be a hot commodity in the 2nd round.

LaGarrette Blount, RB, Oregon- Blount has had a rough year following the Boise State game. After being suspended for most of the season, Blount came back strong in his last two games, despite getting limited carries, averaging around 6 yards a carry with a pair of touchdowns. This week he showed good vision in practice, and continued that in the game for a 14 yard touchdown that he bounced to the outside. Blount’s character issues may push him down to the 3rd or 4th round, but he could be a steal. Coming in at 245 pounds, he also seemed to be in great shape.

Dan LeFevour, QB, Central Michigan- While I don’t see LeFevour as a 2nd round pick like Corey Chavous, I think he did move up a round, possibly 4th, in the draft. LeFevour really did all he could to make a smooth transition to playing under center, as he ran a shotgun spread offense for 4 years at Central Michigan. He made several nice throws in 7 on 7 drills, a couple in which he squeezed in between defenders. He’s always been able to make plays on his feet, while also throwing on the run, which may make a team covet him a bit more to put him in the bottom of the 3rd round, but most likely middle of the 4th.

Defense

Brandon Graham, DE/OLB, Michigan- Graham just had a great week, and really showed scouts that he wants to be a top 15 draft pick. Despite a lack of ideal size, he embarrassed some of the offensive tackles this week. He showed a great display of power and finesse, which threw the tackles off. He just adjusted to the blockers very well, and knew what moves he needed to put on to get to the QB. He had 2 sacks and a forced fumble in the North defenses dominance of the Senior Bowl. Graham may have pushed his way into the top 20 after this performance.

Dan Williams, DT, Tennessee- Other than Graham, I can’t think of another defensive lineman that helped themselves more. Williams just proved doubters wrong about him gaining those 15-20 pounds this season, and he played a great Senior Bowl, following an effective week. In double team drills he did a great job of holding the point of attack, and also showed that he can be both a 1 or 2 gap player, making him more versatile. Right now he looks like he could be a dominant NT in either a 34 or a 43. He’s a top 20 pick in this draft.

Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise State- What we knew about Wilson was that he was fast. However, he showed an excellent ability to break on the ball and also get physical at the line. His best trait is his breakaway speed. He baits quarterbacks to throw it his way, so that he can jump in for a deflection, if not a pick. He’s very versatile as he can play safety as well as corner, and he was great in one on one’s this week. He also has a lot of value as a kick returner for teams and may have pushed himself into the first round.

Sean Weatherspoon, LB, Missouri- Weatherspoon is a guy that’s very underrated. Many people have him as a first round pick (albeit a late one), but don’t really know why. The reason why is because he’s a phenomenal athlete who can do it all. He’s a defensive leader and very vocal, and that’s another great trait. One of the best things about Weatherspoon is his ability to cover as a linebacker. The Senior Bowl showed that he also has an uncanny ability to read and react, much like his defensive teammate Daryl Washington, who also excelled for the North defense. Weatherspoon should be a lock for the first round.