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25-years ago, Len Bias did this.

Get me this out-of-bounds play!

Monday, March 9, 2009

I got my swagger back, baby! And oh yeah, this blog happened for a reason.

That photo has nothing to do with this blog, but it was taken at 4:30 AM after the Louisville game. Good times.

Do you ever get sick of hearing certain statements from the sports world? God knows I do. I started with 20+ phrases that I'm absolutely sick of or simply don't understand, but I narrowed it down for y'all. Why? Because quite frankly I was boring even myself. Anywho, I really need to get these off my chest. Those close to me are probably sick and tired of hearing me bitch about them, so consider this a bit of a soul cleansing exercise. Here ye be:

"Giving 110%"

I hate this phrase, and I’m not sure why it’s 110%. Why stop there? Why not 120%? 200%? 587%? Anyway, my point has always been you can’t give 110%. If you don’t believe me, try withdrawing 110% from your savings account or eating 110% of a pie. You can't do it, damn it. Hell, I'd venture to say you can’t even give 100%. It would more than likely kill you, right? I’d say the most ball-busting, hard working, crazy-ass athlete out there is giving around 85%. Hey, you gotta rest sometime.
By the way, Pete Rose? 97%.

"Not having enough energy"

How many times have you heard a coach say, “They had more energy than we did.” Or, “We didn’t have a lot of energy out there.” Gawd. I hate that kind of talk. Try using that the next time you don’t meet expectations at work. “Sorry, boss, I just didn’t have a lot of energy today.” Isn’t that just another way of saying your team got out-hustled? By saying you didn’t have enough energy it’s almost like it’s out of your team’s control, that some God of Energy touched the other team pre-game but ignored yours. Just have the guts to say your team didn’t work hard.

"In space"

As in, “He needs the ball in space” or “He’s very good in space.” Where are we, Uranus? Didn’t we used to just say “open field?” And who isn’t better “in space?” Have you ever known a football player who was better with 5 defenders around him?

"Keeping it real"

As in, “Hey, you know me. Just keepin’ it real.” And by keeping it real they mean just letting whatever pops into their head come flying straight out of their mouth. Why is keeping it real some sort of badge of honor? Isn’t it easier to “keep it real” than otherwise? Isn’t it more honorable to hold your tongue and not always say what you’re thinking? I mean, I guess I should just go around saying whatever pops into my head about whoever I happen to encounter throughout the day. “Hey, that’s one ugly-ass wife you have there, Mr. Sparnarkel” or “Hey boss, your daughter looks like a cross between Coach K and Leon Spinks.” Just keepin’ it real, man.

"Everything happens for a reason"

Does everything happen for a reason or just certain things? I only hear people say this after some serious event has taken place. For instance, I stubbed my toe this morning getting out of the shower. Did that happen for a reason? If so, what was the reason, because I really want to know. I’m thinking most things just happen randomly for no reason at all, and people say otherwise in order to help them deal with life. If we believe things happen for a reason, that everything is going according to some master plan, then it’s out of our control and there’s no reason to worry about it. Man, am I a downer or what? Plus, I just realized this has nothing to do with sports.

"It’s going to come down to who wants it more"

No, it’s going to come down to who scores the most points. Sometimes the team who wants it more actually loses. Sorry. By the way, World War II? We wanted it more.

"We need to get our swagger back"

This is what we used to call confidence, right? Or are we talking about walking with a bounce in our step? John Wayne swaggered, no? Barney Fife did not? I’m just trying to get a handle on this because I’m confused. Here’s what Webster has to say:

To walk or conduct oneself with an insolent or arrogant air. To strut.”

And this helps you win games how?

Alright, I’m out. I’m sure I’ll think of several more as I take my dog Poe for a walk. Perhaps we shall swagger along the way, just keeping it real if you will. I don’t know who will get the most out of this little excursion, but it will surely come down to who wants it more. I’m guessing that will be Poe, because I plan to release him from his leash when we get to the open field, where he runs best in space. Hopefully we will suffer no horrific accident along the way, but if we do, feel secure in the knowledge that it happened for reason.

Ed. Note: I only gave 39% on this blog. Not enough energy.


  1. "It is what it is" - This one is always used when describing a negative situation. For example - NCAA team narrowly misses tourney, coach says, well, it is what it is. Why can't we use it for positive situations? For example - Tiger wins another tournament, it is what it is! oh wait . . . .

    "This guy has tremendous upside" - as opposed to his teamates that only have downside.

    btw - Duke has swagger. I KEEED, I KEEED!!

  2. Way to give 110% percent on this blog Dave. I thought you really kept it real. I think you got your swagger back, but every blog happens for a reason. Actually, I love the George Carlon type of Humor...He was and is my favorite comic!


Man, that chick beside me is smokin'.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

3:30 AM, after the Louisville game.

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