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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Random Notes: Pennant Race vs. Kickoff 2010?

Ahhh...the dog days of summer are upon us. The kids are back in school. The pool out back looks like shit. Pennant races are shaping up. Marching bands are cranking it up on Friday nights again. Tiger Woods shot a round under 70. The U.S. Open allegedly will be played next week in Flushing. Brett Favre has blessed us with his presence once again....

* Usually, for Reds fans, this means shutting down your veterans & calling up AAA wanna-bees, starting the debate on who'll be in the rotation next year, and starting the anointment process for the next "savior." But wait, Reds fans - the Messiah is here, and his name is Joey Votto, and he's Canadian. That's right - not only are the Reds poised to make the playoffs (4 up on STL), but Votto is also in a battle for a Triple Crown with STL's Albert Pujols. Votto-matic leads The Machine in BA, but trails slightly in HR & RBI. Should be a lot of fun to watch, and a reason for us die-hard Red's fans to give a shit in September.

* While I'm on the Reds, I just want to give a big "F-U" to ESPN's Colin Cowherd. In case you haven't heard, Cowherd has been on a month-long mission to prove why the Reds are "a fraud." Sure, they have a losing record against other division leaders. OK, fine. It's not their fault Mr. Baseball, Tony LaRussa & his Cards can't beat a AAA team like Pittsburgh or Washington. He calls out Votto as a fraud, claiming he's not in Pujol's league and benefits from the bandbox that is GABP. had Cowherd done his research he would have known that Joey hits for a better average & has a better slugging % on the road. He calls out the Reds staff, claiming the Yankees would own them in a 7-game series. OK, I'll concede a loss to C.C. Sabbathia, but Cincy stacks up everywhere else except payroll. (Don't forget, the Cuban Missile countdown to launch is on...). After all the hate mail started to pour in, Cowherd then took a shot at the whole state of OH-IO!! Not only did this douchebag call out the Reds & Votto, but he declares the Bengals, Bearcats, Musketeers, & Buckeyes also to be frauds. Cowherd also picked a fight with Paul Daugherty of The Cincinnati Enquirer, whom he called "a local hack." This one he won't win, no matter how much P90X he does...and oh, by the way there's some USC on your chin, Cowherd.

* Let's not forget the Bengals, Brown-eyes & Buckeyes are set to kick-off too. The Bengals D has looked suspect this camp, but should come around. Carson now has a bevy of receivers to pick from with T.O., Gresham, & Shipley now adorning stripes. I like this team, I really do. Same goes for my Buckeyes - anything less than a National Title will be a disappointment for me.

* The Big 10 is prepared to throw the greatest rivalry in college sports out the window. yes, Jim Delaney in all his wisdom wants to put OSU & UM in separate divisions, hoping they'll showdown in the newly-formed conference title game & make him look like a genius. Tress'll do his part, but Dick-Rod can't get out of his own way up in Ann Arbor (insert whore joke here). Listen here, Mr. Delaney...I'm going to teach you some MAC-learned geography & mathematics: you now have 12 teams. 12/2=6. 6 teams per division. Go east to west and stop at 6. Penn St, Ohio St., Michigan, Michigan St., Indiana & Purdue = Big 10 East. Northwestern, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa & Nebraska = Big 10 West. he claims splitting the conference up like this would lead to competitive imbalance - I don't see it. I see right through you, man....all you see is $$$$. Given the proposed realignment, since Penn St. joined the Big 10, OSU & Michigan would only have matched up 4 times in a hypothetical championship game. If you worried about competitive imbalance, maybe your other teams should get better? Just sayin'....

* Great take by columnist Jeff MacGregor on the difference between Albert Haynesworth & Brett Favre right here.

* OK, speed round time....biggest sign of the Apocalypse: Pete Rose canceled a casino appearance to show up at GABP to be honored by the Reds on the anniversary of 4192, 9/ has been researched & reported that a guy named Tommy John was the first pitcher to undergo Stephen Strasburg observation for Roger Clemens: you fucked up, cowboy...Randy Couture beat boxer James Toney in the first round in an MMA fight. Duhhhhhh....boxers can't punch from their backsides....Brett Favre is responsible for Percy Harvin's migraines....NASCAR drivers are pussies - yeah, I'm talking to you Kurt Bush. I'll beat you down just for looking at me, punk....Tiger Woods plays like he has carpal tunnel syndrome. Put the Jergens down & go get laid, already....what's the over/under JaMarcus Russell is wearing black & orange by season's end....I wish Joe Nuxhall were still alive.

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Man, that chick beside me is smokin'.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

3:30 AM, after the Louisville game.

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