Finally, the All-Time Cartoon Football Team

And isn’t it about time? I mean really? Admit it, as soon as you read that title you were intrigued. Seriously, once this idea popped into my melon I knew I had a winner. It’s a blog that’s sure to illicit opinion, debate, even outrage. I can hear it now:

“How DARE you leave out Daffy Duck! He would have made a great wide receiver! Plus, nobody could take a hit like that guy!”

I really only had one rule when putting this all-star squad together, and that rule was this - No Superheroes. It would have been way to easy to put Superman at quarterback, Flash at running back, then stick The Incredible Hulk at linebacker and call it a day. No, I leave easy posts like that to the likes of DJ.

And so, without further ado, I give you my All-Time Cartoon football team. Feel free to throw in your opinions in the comments section under the blog. As always, I’ll ignore them completely.

Day #1 of the NFL Draft...I'll Take It From Here, Shoe

A few more musings from Day 1......Al Davis is psychotic. I have suspicioned this for many a year, but yesterday confirmed it. The man needs put in a home, for chrissakes. I could see passing up Crabtree for Maclin, but Heywood Banks? Next pick, the 70th-rated safety in the draft...and a kid from Ohio U. to boot? Now, I'm an OU grad, but seriously, a 2nd round football draft pick?......I hear ya , Shoe 'bout the whole cell phone thing. I watched Brian Cushing get "the call" and he then brushed off his mom, dad, & entire family whilst sucking phone with his new boss. How rude......Do ya think Braylon Edwards is packing his shit up right about now? Robiskie & Massiquoi picked by the Brown-Eyes in Rd. 2 = not prickin' around......Convenience stores in the Greater Cincinnati area are stocking their shelves as we speak with a fresh assortment of Twinkies & King Dongs as Andre Smith is headed to town. How cool was it to have Rey Maualuga available at #2 though. I love the Samoan football players, they're scary as shit. Maybe he, Carson & Keith Rivers can talk the USC Song Girls into coming to town this September, eh?......Dallas & Chicago had no Day #1 picks. Zero.

The 2009 NFL Draft: Who will be this year's Akili Smith?

Some musings as I sit here watching the draft . . .

I love the gamesmanship that goes on prior to the NFL Draft. I swear that several teams baited the Bengals by saying they were in love with Akili Smith that year. And the Bengals being the Bengals, wait . . . holy shit! Did you see that bracelet on Eugene Monroe? Good God. Oh, sorry. Back to the Bengals. What I was saying was that, the Bengals being the Bengals, they fell for it hook, line and stinker.

Would it kill these guys to get off their damn cell phones? I mean, they're name is called and they're talking on their freakin' cells as they are being congratulated by everybody. I call bullshit.

I'm thinking Matt Stafford may be a bad pick by Detroit. You know why I think that? 'Cause he said he'd love to play in Detroit. That's a sign of dementia right there. You know another reason I don't like the pick? Because Detroit likes the pick.

Marty, Tell Us What You REALLY Think...

So my beloved Cincinnati Reds are 5-5, trailing the Chicago Cubs in the N.L. Central by a respectable 1.5 games (4th in division). Tuesday, the Reds embark on the first pilgramage to the "Friendly Confines" that is Wrigley Field, and I can't help but harken back to a year ago when Reds Hall-Of Fame radio announcer Marty Brennaman absolutely LIT UP Cubs Fan during a Reds/Cubs tilt. I'm not talking "Cubs Fan" like as in an individual like say...Steve Bartman, I mean "Cubs Fan" in a collective sense as (& I'm so ashamed of this) Jim Rome would call out the Cubs Nation (but I hate that term too, i.e. Insert Team Name Here Nation).

Now I've been listening to Marty Brennaman since I was but a wee lad, & I 've noticed a change in his sometimes (OK regular) surly demeanor. I could notice him becoming somewhat more dickish as the late, great Joe Nuxhall's health increasing deteriorated. However, after Joe's passing and the full-time insertion of Marty's son Thom, along with former Red Jeff "The Cow-Boyyy" Brantley into the booth, you get the feeling Marty is hiking his leg all over every part of that broadcast booth. I love it that Marty is not afraid to share his opinions with us; hell I agree with him 99% of the time. He has made Cincinnati the baseball town it is, where Reds fans can spot a slacker on the field over the radio airwaves with intuitive ease, and equally gushes over the overachieving, gritty utility infielder just up from AAA. Sometimes he's a little too much to stomach, but at least he is always (brutally) honest...and NOTHING goes unscrutinized in that booth.

Anyhow...love him or hate him, Marty Brennaman (who has the best hair in radio) will always be our guy. While "Cubs Fan" waxes nostalgic over the likes of Hhhaaary Caray & his sideshow, us REAL baseball fans laugh at you. Take a listen to this, Fuzzy Cubbies, and tell me Mr. Hall Of Fame wasn't right...on...the...money. You'll never win!! Watch this & tell Marty & I we're not right. Losers!!

The Neverending NBA Playoffs have begun! Some random blatherings . . .

Some thoughts as I watch the NBA playoffs on this beautiful Saturday afternoon in southern Ohio . . .

Joakim Noah is a loon. His foul on Paul Pierce with 2.6 seconds left in regulation was pure stupidity.

Derrick Rose is good. Really good.

If I see another shot of Vinny Del Negro’s dad on the end of the bench I’m going to vomit. OK, so he moved down to the bench because he’s nervous. We get it. Let it go.

Boston has to have the most obnoxious fans on the planet. Plus, those accents grate on you like sandpaper rubbing on an open wound.

In basketball, at what point did tall become long?

Stephon Marbury couldn’t guard me, and he’s trying to guard Derrick Rose. Rose is at 35 points and counting as I write this.

I hate to say it, but LeBron & Company’s shtick is getting old. Enough already with the preening, dancing, and posing. You haven’t won anything yet fellas.

At what point did a fast break become a run-out?

Why in the hell did Florida International hire Isiah Thomas? Anybody?

So Isiah Thomas is the new coach at Florida International. Let's compare the positives versus the negatives:

Negatives:

• He took over the New York Knicks and ran the once proud orginization into the ground, including three straight 1st Round playoff defeats.
• By all accounts he is an absolutely horrible game coach.
• He had an 11-million dollar sexual harassment lawsuit filed against him. But hey, who hasn't?
• Accusations of racism, misogyny, and general assholery.
• Allegedly overdosed on sleeping pills six months ago, was taken to the hospital by ambulance, ID'd by several EMTs, and then claimed it was his daughter.
• And oh yeah, he has zero experience in college coaching, not to mention recruiting.

Best. Week. Ever.

Wow. What a week for sports junkies. First, we kick it all off with a double-scoop of awesomeness on Monday as the Cincinnati Reds & New York Mets play the "official" opening game of the Major League Season & later that evening North Carolina throttles Michigan State in the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship. Frankly, neither game should have been played (one due to weather, one because of an impending ass-whuppin') but it's still a great day for me personally as winter officially gives way to spring.
Later in the week we have the crowning of another squad in the UConn women's basketball empire is Geno Auriemma the best coach in America - men's or women's? There's another post for later... Also highlighting the week was some interesting hockey (shocking) as the Columbus Blue Jackets (or CBJ for those in the know) clinched their first playoff spot in history, and the Miami of Ohio hockey team absolutely BLEW the NCAA championship giving up two goals in a minute, then losing in OT. Ouch...

Final 4 Thoughts (let the "pick opposite of Shoe" jokes begin)

Uh, that last blog where I mentioned having Mizzou in the Final 4? Just kidding. I assume you knew that. Oh, I had Wake Forest in the Final 4, that much was true. Fact is I'm winning one of my three brackets right now, and it's the $20 one, so there's that. My credibility, though wounded, lives on.

Let's start with a bit of disturbing news. I'm taking a class at OU this spring, and the first session is scheduled for this Saturday, from 1:00 t0 5:00. What the hell? Who does that? Can I make it to a big screen by gametime? You betcha. It might end up being at the Hotel McCarthur, but it'll happen.

But now, some observations:

The best coach in the Final 4 is Tom Izzo, hands-down. Calhoun might be a cheater, Roy Williams doesn't teach defense, and Jay Wright hasn't earned anything yet. Izzo's teams play disciplined, poised, tough, and smart. He completely outcoached Rick Pitino last weekend, slowing down the vaunted Louisville offense and dominating the game.