The 2009 NFL Draft: Who will be this year's Akili Smith?

Some musings as I sit here watching the draft . . .

I love the gamesmanship that goes on prior to the NFL Draft. I swear that several teams baited the Bengals by saying they were in love with Akili Smith that year. And the Bengals being the Bengals, wait . . . holy shit! Did you see that bracelet on Eugene Monroe? Good God. Oh, sorry. Back to the Bengals. What I was saying was that, the Bengals being the Bengals, they fell for it hook, line and stinker.

Would it kill these guys to get off their damn cell phones? I mean, they're name is called and they're talking on their freakin' cells as they are being congratulated by everybody. I call bullshit.

I'm thinking Matt Stafford may be a bad pick by Detroit. You know why I think that? 'Cause he said he'd love to play in Detroit. That's a sign of dementia right there. You know another reason I don't like the pick? Because Detroit likes the pick.

Jason Smith to the Cards. You can't go wrong there, kids. By all accounts a quality kid and all-around stud. Ooh, wait. I forgot. He played for the Baylor Bears. That can't be good.

The Clowns traded their pick to the J-e-t-s Jets Jets Jets. That means Mark Sanchez is stepping into the shoes of the biggest prima donna in NFL history, Brettfavre. Good luck sir.

My Bengals have taken Andre Smith and his floppy breasts. I like this. Not the floppy breasts, but the big O-Lineman. Also, he's been in some trouble and mysteriously left the combine so he'll fit right in with the wackbags in The Natti. Woo-hoo! Can't wait.

Once again, Al Davis has shown he's out of his mind by picking Darrius Heyward-Bey over Michael Crabtree. Also once again, the infatuation with the 4.3 forty has clouded someone's judgement. Although in Al's case it's been a little cloudy in there for years.

Michael Crabtree to the Niners. I think he'll be good. I also think he'll be another diva wide receiver. His interviews lately have been difficult to watch.

I'm off to a party, but my buddy Jim is predicting Beanie Wells to the Clowns. It'll be fun watching Beanie limp to the sidelines in that first pre-season game. Good times comin' Jimmy. Me? I'd grab Malcom Jenkins in a heartbeat.

Finally, who attends the draft and yells like banshees? I mean constantly? Seriously, who does that? I wouldn't go if it was around the corner. In fact, why am I watching it now? I'm out.