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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Brett Favre's Offseason Daily Planner

I know, I'm piling on now but I can't help myself. I promise I'll stop soon. You know, when I quit "having fun out there". This one's from Barstool Sports.

Jan 24 – Throw inexcusable pick to blow Vikings Super Bowl chances.

Jan 25 – Announce that “It’s highly unlikely” you’ll come back to play again in 2010.

Feb 1 – Get interviewed for Peter King’s MMQB column. Tell him “no decision” has been made, but “Deanna and I are going home to Mississippi” and give it some thought. Fish for compliments by telling King how banged up I am. Be sure to mention that this gets harder every year.

Feb 1-9 – Quality time with family. Also monitor the web for speculation about my future.

Feb 10 – Leak to John Clayton I’m retiring.

Feb 11 – Deny reports about my retirement.

Feb 15 – Formally announce my retirement in teary press conference. Don’t forget to say “I don’t have anything left” and “I gave it everything I had.”

Feb 15-19 - Keep schedule clear to watch “Brett Favre Tribute Week” on ESPN. TiVo same on NFL Net.

March 1 – Call Adam Schefter to start “second thoughts” rumors.

March 2 – Deny second thoughts.

March 15 – Dinner with Chilly.

March 16 – Call Minneapolis Star Tribune. Say “This is the best I’ve felt in 10 years.”

March 20 – Call in with “Mike & Mike.” Insist you’re not coming back but if you did you could compete at a high level.

April 22-24 – NFL Draft. Encourage Chilly to draft a QB because you’re done.

April 30-May 3. Skip mini camp.

May 30 – Have agent call Zigi Wulf re: new contract.

June 1 – Tell Jason LaCanfora “I’m not sure” about coming back.

July 24 – Training camp opens. Go fishing in Lousiana.

Aug 24 – Sign record contract.

Aug 25 - Report to Vikings camp. Tell press “I’m here to win.” Say you don’t want the focus to be on you. Cry.

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Man, that chick beside me is smokin'.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

3:30 AM, after the Louisville game.

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