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Saturday, May 22, 2010

LeBron's Next Team

From the always amusing Onion:

In scant weeks, LeBron James will be the most desirable free agent in recent memory. Where will basketball's biggest catch choose to go?


  • Kings: Sacramento GM Geoff Petrie has been known to call James "the best player in the league," so perhaps this will flatter LeBron into making the wrong decision

  • Knicks: LeBron has said he's always wanted to play in the most overrated franchise in sports history. Plus, you can order out at 4:00 AM! Woohoo!

  • Nets: East Rutherford could be the destination, as James has hinted to the media how much he loves "marshy hellholes"

  • Bulls: Have wooed James by offering him a chance to be the franchise's all-time second-best player

  • Bucks: Not very likely, since LeBron has never even heard of this team

  • Heat: Miami, having no income tax, or apparently any other laws of any kind, may prove intriguing to young James

  • BK Ventspils: LeBron has always been enamored with Latvia's nightlife

  • Cavaliers: Makes perfect sense for both sides, but God, would that be boring

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Man, that chick beside me is smokin'.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

Imagine waking up and seeing this on ESPN. I look like I'm having a stroke back there. Good Lord.

3:30 AM, after the Louisville game.

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